02 March 2007

Written at 3AM

I don’t want to sleep. I fear what the next day will bring. Shall it bring another death, another fit, another unresolved issue, another friend leaving, a sudden misunderstanding that will stretch for days? I feel so burdened with everything that I fear I might break soon.

I smile, I’m normal. I show them what they want to see. A fairly happy version of me, to appease all. Nothing’s wrong. That’s what I’d like them to believe. I'd rather wallow than spend my whole time explaining why everything's so low.

My body’s telling me to rest and call it a day. But my brain refuses to follow. It relishes the silence of nighttime, when nothing matters, when you are not judged for what you do or do not do. When you are just left with you. I wish the whole day can be nighttime.

Orange Git at 1:01 PM

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