18 January 2007
Lost
I'm in a rut.I thought I've moved on from the bad holiday depression. Somehow, I unconsciously managed to crawl back into the dark hole of boredom, depression and isolation. I'm spending a lot of time alone and I love it. I think I've had an invisible "Leave me alone" sign on my forehead for weeks now. But even solitary silence doesn't make things clearer.
I'm so lazy. I find myself staring blankly at the wall when I get home. I feel so useless and lethargic.
The thing is, I know what I have to do. I need to do it NOW. But why is it so hard to move forward? I'm scared that I've become too complacent already and just allow things to move along without doing anything, without grabbing opportunities. I keep on thinking and making plans in my head but the execution escapes me. I know what friends will say if I tell them about this. Same thing... start moving. I know that.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how I'm going to get out of this lethargic state. My life is out of whack right now. I hate it. I've never been like this.
Orange Git at 10:02 PM
