She's going to kill me, evil genius will kill me. Like I'll reconsider posting it. Of course not. I'm not afraid for my life. I'm not scared she'll creep into my room tonight and beat the crap out of me. Like she really will, or will she? Hmmmm.

I'm one of THE biggest fans. I can't resist the temptation to brag about her every chance that I get. She's so braggable! (Is there even such a word?) Our little girl is growing up ... sniff sniff...

Stop, load, watch and listen. This is from the Walang Ibang Hangad concert last 15 July. The Francisco Santiago Hall at the Equitable PCI Tower was full to the brim. As ever, Hangad was amazing. And then some. I'm grabbing this from Ernest Custodio's videos on Youtube. I hope he doesn't mind.

It's done. I'm done.

After being oblivious to the whole world for the entire weekend, I'm finished. I'm not going to provide my own review of the book. It will feel too obligatory. And I'll leave those who haven't finished it in peace. All I can say is it's a fitting ending. Full closure established.

I'm still dazed though. All I can think of now is it's finished. There's nothing more to come. And that somehow makes me sad. Seven books, quite a journey. Now what?

I have it! It's finally here, still wrapped in the Fully Booked plastic bag. And what do I do? Blog. Yes friends, I am psycho. I've been waiting for this for so long and when I finally get it, I can't even touch it.

I'm cramping, I've only slept for three hours but only Harry can make me wake up at 6am on a Saturday. I went with the roomies to Powerplant. As we entered the mall, we saw people carrying their copies and it heightened the excitement and agitation of getting our own. I was sure I'd get a copy even if I didn't reserve. A profit-minded retailer would most probably stock up and take advantage of this hype. If we could only jump from the first level to the third level of the mall, I think we would have done so. We got to Fully Booked and saw tables covered with the book. I touched them lovingly and picked the one that called to me. My friends were done paying and I was still selecting my book!

Pathetic though, we were having our free coffee at the Press when Teen messaged and told us that JK Rowling dedicated the book to us. To be specific, she writes, " ...and to you, if you have stuck with Harry until the very end."I started weeping! Maybe it's the hormones, maybe it's the lack of sleep, maybe it's the heat. I even got goosebumps now as I typed her words. It really got to me. The books have been part of my consciousness for almost eight years. And now that I have the last book, I'm quite nostalgic thinking how life would be like with one less thing to look forward to. I'm on delayed gratification mode. If I can stretch the time I spend reading it, I would if only to savor the experience. But I know I'd probably rush once I open the first page. So for now, I'll still keep it in the plastic bag where it's been for three hours now. I'll get to it in... 30 minutes... Haha! Not so high EQ mode after all.

It was the usual afternoon slack mode yesterday. This has got to stop. But nice things come out of "slack episodes." An opportunity to talk with friends not so far away who are equally on anti work mode. Bane sent me a reaffirming email on relationships and marriage. I reacted saying that the stuff in that article is what actually scares the crap out of me when it comes to the idea of settling down. She responds and blows me away..

... If the right Person comes along, time and depth of feeling just make sense... It's wonderful to believe that this miracle (the perfect union) is nevertheless Possible in our lifetime di ba =) The waiting would be worth it.

And then she sends me the big guns. Ideals from movies. They may be fiction, but they sure are certifiably genius.

Something's Gotta Give: Someone who gets you
The Wedding Planner: Being the "Greater" one for another who believed he already had something "Great" whatever that may be
Two Weeks Notice: Someone who knows our rough edges, but realizes that if he looks closer, we're absolutely beautiful
Chasing Liberty: Someone who will make and whom we will make the big gesture
American President: Someone for whom we just might send 455 to the Floor

I remember two years back. As my Lenten sacrifice, I tried not to ingest any kind of caffeine in my system during Fridays. Oh what a nightmare. I turned into a monster, an ugly, cranky, generally foul and vile version of me. I cannot see myself going through that again. Just thinking about it makes me shiver and feel cold, like a dementor was about to suck all the happiness from me. I don't smoke, I rarely drink. But caffeine is my poison.

My "IT" has been christened, finally.

The idea actually came from Ceia. It was quite a task naming this thing that I so love. The few names I thought of before THE ONE.

Zen: lame... will end up a laughingstock. will probably show signs of unimaginative tendencies. not good
Optimus Prime: too long, as mentioned. on a high from Transformers so this might fade quickly
Colin: as Ceia suggested... getting warm
Henry: quite manly but not sticking
Mr. Darcy: getting warmer, but not quite there yet... still
Cuppy: (pronounced as cccuuuuppyy in a mushy kiddy voice) coined while waiting for Harry Potter to begin. the things you talk about when there are no previews

Got home, thought about it some more and I have it. Darcy. It sticks. But a British accent is required to say it. Not just to be pronounced as Darrrcy.. It must be Dahhhccyy, dahlings.

From hereon, it shall be called Darcy.

Hep hep hep. Before the lot of you start rushing to your nearest church to rejoice and give thanks that I've finally found THE ONE, this is not about a he, it's about an it.

I still haven't quite named it. I'm quite tempted to christen it as Zen but I remember Ceia laughing at me when I called it as such. I'm working on it Cei, not to worry. It's too unique to be generically named as Zen. Hmmm.. that's weird. I'm in a relationship with an unnamed entity.

We met last year. And I've had a crush on it ever since I checked out its specs. I had a few fickle moments when I thought it was better to get the other brand because it was pretty. But this one persisted. I fell in love with it when I bought it last 26 June. It made me so giddy I couldn't stop smiling for days. I bragged about it, showed it off to family and friends.

We've had a few rocky moments, when I thought I'd give up organizing music to load in it because there was just too many, when I found out that it still had to convert the videos to a lower quality before transferring, when it hung when I was trying to introduce the concept of multi-tasking. But we've settled now, kinks worked out, all songs finally loaded. There are occasional OC moments like last night when I decided to re-upload everything again to capture the album cover pictures. But thankfully, it is patient with me.

I'm enjoying this new relationship. I have it with me wherever I go, rain or shine, in bed or walking, reflecting. It matches my moods everyday. When I feel mushy, angry, nostalgic. When I want to dance, vege, head bang. It satisfies my fixes for world music, JT, PCD, Rain, Take That. It tolerates my Korean and Gipsy Kings modes when no one else can. It gives me space when I simply want quiet. Now if guys can be like this too.... I know it's bound to hurt me when it crashes on me one day. But this relationship, I know, can be fixed if ever broken. It would require a lot of patience and time but can always be fixed.

Now looking back and reading what I've written... it's bordering on psycho. No actually, this is quite a psychotic entry. Well, (and again Teeway, I quote from the song) I am an average everyday sane psycho.

I seriously believe in the power of jinx. I don't know if it's pure coincidence. But I know that I can somehow jinx things from happening when I talk about it too much.

Hence, I shall shut up for a while. No stories, no little tidbits, no anecdotes. I will not indulge in mentionitis. Promise. What's the use of telling people when it won't materialize into anything in the future?

So I will shut up for now, unless asked directly. I hope no one asks for a while though.

I'm extremely into this song right now. It's one of those songs that make you want to daydream all day.






By Your Side
Sade

you think i'd leave your side baby
you know me better than that
you think i'd leave you down when you're down on your knees
i wouldn't do that
i'll tell you you're right when you want
and if only you could see into me

oh when you're cold
i'll be there
hold you tight to me

when you're on the outside baby and you can`t get in
i will show you you're so much better than you know
when you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again
i will find you darling and i will bring you home

and if you want to cry
i am here to dry your eyes
and in no time
you'll be fine

you think i'd leave your side baby
you know me better than that
you think id leave you down when you're down on your knees
i wouldn't do that
i'll tell you you're right when you want
and if only you could see into me

oh when you're cold
i'll be there
hold you tight to me
when you're low
i'll be there
by your side baby

oh when you're cold
i'll be there
hold you tight to me
oh when you're low
i'll be there
by your side baby

--------------------------------------

Daydreaming. It's such an indulgence. Words are cheap and can possibly be insincere. But what if it's all you have now? Wouldn't you want to surround yourself in this wonderful bubble of daydream?