19 November 2007

down.. down.. down..

2007 has been mean to me, extremely mean.

I can't recall any year where I've been so depressed and sad a lot. My tear ducts have been working overtime. There are highs, lots of highs.. but there were more lows... much much more outweighing the good moments.

And now this.
I went into it, not hoping for anything. But when you get through a certain level, you start to wonder... maybe it is for you. Maybe this is the lucky break you've been waiting for. Maybe, maybe... But then... maybe not.

Failing is harsh. I've been through very few failures in my entire short life. Maybe that's why it's so tough and emotionally draining. I'm disoriented. I know how to start over again but now I'm even more petrified to take another step forward because I feel so insecure, mediocre and undesirable.

There must be something else out there for me. That's what I've been telling myself over and over again. But where is it? I'm starting to think I'm just aimlessly floating.

Orange Git at 2:11 PM



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