25 September 2006
Role Playing
Sometimes you find yourself in weird, out of body situations, that you just want to laugh and say, “What the hell are you doing here?”Your friend wanted you to accompany her to a gown-fitting for an upcoming wedding. She needed a second opinion, so she says. Off you go to this exclusive village in Makati to the designer’s house.
Enter quintessential gay designer. In fairness, he was very warm and nice, none of the artsy air that usually comes with the designer package. He ushers you and your friend to his studio and lets your friend fit the lining of the dress. The conversation morphs into semi intelligible gasps and oohhhsss. It’s funny but strangely, you just ride with the conversation.
Gay guy: See how nice it falls, oh! It’s perfect in the back! Perfect! See ate? (motions to the girl holding all the pins) Ang ganda ng bagsak!
(made me wonder if all gay guys really end their sentences in various versions of exclamation points)
Friend: I brought my shoes.
Gay Guy: Oh! Wear it!
(friend shows the shoes)
Gay Guy: Ay how gorgeous! But is that the color that the bride wants?
Friend: Well, she said I can wear any color I want. I didn’t really want to go with the other one.
Gay Guy: It’s lovely! Oh! It goes with the broche that we made for the dress!
Friend: Really-ah? That’s great! See! I chose the perfect shoe!
You feel useless so you stand up, start touching the fabric and give all sorts of comments, some valid, some just for the sake of giving comments. Ate starts folding the hemline and shows you if the length is right. You still feel unutilized so you tell her it’s ok. Then your friend decides to show off her vintage purse. You thought the situation couldn’t get any more funnier, but it gets worse.
Gay guy: Oh, how beautiful! And it’s so heavy! Pwedeng pang pukpok!
He starts strutting with the purse, like he’s posing on some red carpet in Hollywood, waving to an imaginary crowd.
Gay guy: It’s nice, noh? Pero you can’t put anything in it. Ang liit! Mas malaki pa ang cell phone! Kaya dapat meron kang alalay that you can call… “Yaya! Where’s my cell phone! Yaya!” This really looks old, ah! Was it passed down to from your lola to your mom?
Friend: Noh, my lola gave it to me. But there are a few missing stones oh, look.
Gay Guy: Ay oo, but that’s easy to replace. Ay! Vintage talaga!
You just watch what’s going on, you don’t even dare contribute to the conversation for fear of being sucked into their gushing pit. You walk out of the house with a silly smile, thinking how you can fool others into believing you’re actually interested.
Orange Git at 1:10 AM
1 Comments
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at 9:58 AM
The Traveling Epicure said... HAHAHAHAHA!!! :))
I would've loved to be in the room with you. ;)
Here's something to perk up your day:
www.overheardinnewyork.com
Enjoy! :)
